possible future?

25 05 2005

I am going to geek out for a second…

Two images (or negatives) precisly printer on one piece of paper in the darkroom, using masks printed on transparency:

1st Try

2nd Try

I printed solid black ink on transparency using a computer. The transparency is layed on top of the photo paper before printing the first negative (the subway) onto the paper. The black of the transparency is meant to block that part of the image from being printed on the paper. I then use an inverted transparency (black becomes clear and clear becomes black) to print the second negative (winter forest) on the same piece of paper, essentially filling in the unexposed portion from the first exposure.

Obviously I am still working out the kinks. On the first image you can see that the black does not completely block the light, instead the “blacked-out” parts are seriously underexposed causing a cyan shifted portion of the print. The 2nd image is the closest I got for now.

I need a blacker black (story of my life).

thoughts for now

19 05 2005

Since starting this blog I feel I have been learning a lot about the world in my heart and the outside world and its many layers and messy truths. So there is the world within and the world without. There is a kind of co-existence, but often not by choice. Indeed it seems the complex nature of navigating the often large chasm between these two worlds is too much to ask, and yet it is required by us all.

Sometimes I think of the activist community as a support-group for those looking to get through life with the world in their hearts intact–fostering growth and evolution. My theory is that each of us holds a unique bit of the elusive, long-term solution deep inside. When our piece is shared and joined with others, perhaps in the organizing of an action or event, the entire community benefits from that offering and we learn new methods of self-empowerment. Offering mutual-support in a journey that is simply too difficult to walk alone.

The struggle in the industrialized world is to first see all that is wrong with the way the system is built, then learn the ways in which you are complicit and finally go about the messy process of extracting yourself from that system and building viable alternatives in its place. And of course you do most of this as you continue to walk around in the very world you recognize more and more as being completely out of synch with the world you are building in your heart.

But then there is Critical Mass, First Warm Night and other such events in which a bit of that world in your heart bursts onto the streets and you are there with lots of other like-minded journeyers and you feel free for the first time in a long time. These little tastes inspire and encourage, and you remember you aren’t so alone and then you start to think about what community really feels like and you realize you don’t really feel that strength very often and you go back out there more determined to feel that way again.

up all night

11 05 2005


9 05 2005

Clearly there is something wrong. Something out of balance, leaving a bad taste even when you like what you’re eating (or are being fed). In many ways I see madness all around.

The lawsuit and the overall crackdown on the bike community in NYC is my little piece of this insanity, relatively benign in the grand scheme of things. The illness has roots that are far deeper, with effects far worse and more unjust.

The problems of the first world are a joke in comparison to those of the “2nd” and “3rd.” Bringing awareness to this truth is painful and complicated as you very quickly must face your own tacit complicity. In many ways the activist community functions as a support group in which compassion is the foundation for facing our own ugliness. We bring awareness not to incite, but to spread the opportunity for small changes, decisions based on the broader context in which the whole-cycle is considered before moving forward–Learning to navigate the journey between the world we live in and the one we dream for together.

So there is a wholeness to one’s approach. All forces that question the current paradigm are considered a direct threat to Power and are subject to the militant wing of the state most often represented by the police. As they go about there job, these people often suspend their humanity, becoming mindless and merely part of a system designed to absorb and destroy dissent, regardless of right or wrong.

So there is a problem of distributed guilt in which no one person or entity is at fault and all participants can easily deflect accusatory questions.

There is an apparent seamlessness to our everyday lives and our job is to tear at the walls revealing the hundreds of little mistakes and problems, circumstances that don’t add up and feel wrong in your gut.

So we make messes and make mistakes, sometimes exhibiting the very behavior we wish to change on the larger scale. And we’ve integrated that truth as well, admitting our faults, accepting our contradictions, standing on our little piece of what feels just and learning to hold it in our hearts, if only to teach your piece to another. Protecting our own origin as a stepping off point for a series of principled stands and learning experiences.

Perfection was always an illusion anyway.